A Love More Vast

"It's easy to believe the gospel when you don't think you really need it."

It's easy for doctors to cure healthy people.

But it's rather ludicrous for healthy people to see a doctor, isn't it? We all know that there are enough sick people around to keep the doctors busy; there is no need for the healthy to visit a hospital.

But then again, what if you never visited a hospital? What if you never got check-ups? You can believe you're healthy all you want, but when cancerous cells are spreading throughout your body you'll realize at some point that you are not healthy, and have not been for some time.

Everyone - whether you're a health nut or your average couch potato - believes there are certain things you can do to keep yourself healthy. But what if you don't succeed? What if all your efforts to maintain a healthy body come to nothing as you develop a rare and deadly disease?

"It's easy to believe the gospel when you don't think you really need it."

Through my upbringing under the gospel, I have always heard the term "Easy-believism", or "Jesus and". It's easy to reconcile the fact that Jesus paid for our sins as long as there's something else helping out too. Jesus can't really be that powerful or loving or sacrificial or merciful.

Of course, we wouldn't dare say that last sentence out loud - but I'm pretty sure most Christians have believed that at one time or another. We like to add things to Jesus' work. His finished work.

One of my "easy-believisms" is what I like to call, "Jesus and my superior mask of good works and sweet words that elevates me above most if not all of my peers."

I am just like the pharisee: "God, I thank you that I am not like other men..." (Luke 18:11)

But what if all my efforts are in vain? What if my sin gets too big for me to hide? What if it controls and envelops me until I feel like a miserable, disgusting, mess? Where do I turn to for my security and stability?

Over the past 6-7 months or so God has been exposing me in many areas of my life. I have committed sins that I thought were "beneath me". Wrong. Nothing is beneath me, because I am a sinner. The heart is deceitful above all things, who can know it?

"It's easy to believe the gospel when you don't think you really need it."

After you sin, Christian, really sin - you'll realize how hard it is to believe the gospel. How could God ever forgive you, if you can't even forgive yourself?

I'm not boasting in my horrible sinful nature nor glorifying it - I simply want to express that it can be a means for God reveal to us the depth of the gospel. It takes time, but God is a patient teacher. He loves us enough to allow us to learn from our mistakes.

After you're exposed - and you come to the terms that no one could or should ever really love you except God Himself - then you'll see the vast, unconditional, constant and consistent love He has for you. He remembers our sins no more - even when we do!

Praise God that no matter how much we forsake Him, no matter how much we grieve Him, no matter how guilty and shameful we feel, He still LOVES us! His love for us is more vast than we could ever imagine.

Product vs. Process

     We live in a productive, efficient-driven country. How can businesses increase productivity rates? How can we get the most bang for our buck?If you have ever been in an economics class, you know that creating the most amount of product in the fastest and cheapest way is the best way to make the most amount of profit, which of course is what we all strive for, right?
     Even the education system emphasizes the product. By making a student's tests the primary portion of their final grade, the student has 2-10 chances during the class to prove themselves worthy of passing due to their knowledge of the material. Even though we may joke about it, no one really gets an "A for Effort".
     Being a performer, I see nothing but a total reliance upon the product or performance for our merit as artists. The only reason we practice and rehearse is to have a good performance. The only reason we do our daily work is because we know the test is coming, and our reputation depends upon it.
     What if we lived all of life that way? Some people do. For some people they have absolutely no motivation to exercise unless they have a public goal or performance they are working towards, while for others it is not necessary to act spiritual unless they are at church. Some of my examples you may consider to be extremes, but we have all dealt with this is one way or another. And I'm not saying that this is how we behave all the time, but nevertheless the temptation is still there because of our own sin and the world that we live in.
     But, recently, I have discovered that the product is not the most important thing.  My voice teacher is the one that has instilled in me the saying, "process is more important than product". While I knew that was in some ways true, I didn't really understand what it meant to live that way. I saw it in relation to the gospel; that we are not saved by our works. Of course that makes sense intellectually, but what does it look like?
     A quote from Jim Elliot has been running through my mind lately: "Wherever you are, be all there!" and it continues, "Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God." Too often have I been found guilty of focusing more on the outcome of something or how it affects me rather than what is actually happening. I am by nature a very analytic person, and so if I do not willfully stop myself, I will take a break every few minutes from what I am doing to assess how I am doing and if it is being done right. Often times if I go too long without my constant analysis, I freak out because I don't know whether I am living my life correctly or not. But the truth is, I am not really letting myself live at all when I analyze so often.
     This is definitely not a good thing to do whilst singing. To sing correctly, your mind and body have to be fully committed all the way through with the process of singing. You can't go back mentally, or your body will shut down. If you sing something incorrectly, you can't go back and upbraid yourself for your mistakes, or you will lose your focus and the song will just go downhill from there. For the most part, I believe you have to mostly shut your brain down (especially if you're someone like me) in order to sing properly and without hindrance. Wherever you are, be all there.
     The truth is, ladies and gentlemen, is that it really doesn't matter how well you are doing something, but rather the fact that you are doing it. Who do you think God is more pleased with - someone who ruins their life trying to be the best musician possible and have a perfect performance, or the musician who simply lives day by day playing for the Lord because he gave them their gift? Tests and performances don't always come every day, but we are called every day to use the time and talents we have to glorify our Maker. He is more interested in the process than the product. He is more interested in you trusting Him daily for your strength than achieving spiritual greatness. He is more interested in the journey than the destination.
     If you live in the light of this truth, I promise you won't be disappointed. You will grow and learn so much more when you realize that every moment of every day is ordained by God and is for your good and His glory.
     I have a short story to close. Last weekend I ran a 5k in 26 degree weather. I did not feel as in shape as I was for the last 5k I ran, which was back in October. I honestly was not expecting good results for this race, especially in relation to my performance over the last couple months. So I decided I wasn't going to try to run super fast, I just wanted to finish well. I wanted to enjoy the frigid weather, the beautiful outdoors, and using my body to glorify God. I wanted to present in the process and not be always looking towards the outcome - the finish line. Most of the time when I run races I am constantly looking at my watch to make sure that I am running the pace that I want to be at, but this time I didn't. I looked ahead and I looked around. I basked in the beauty of God's creation. I prayed for the runners around me. I wasn't focused on myself and how I was doing; I was focused on God and what He was working in me and through me right then and there. And you know what? My time was almost 2 minutes faster than my 5k back in October.
     When we focus on the process rather than the product, we will be rewarded. But the truth is, we won't really care anyway. That 5k last week was the best race I've ever run, but not because of my time. I enjoyed close communion with God that I hadn't been getting in a while. I felt His pleasure as I ran, not because I was running fast, but because I was running for Him. Hebrews 12:1-2 says, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus..." We are to lay aside every thing that may weigh us down, and we are to look to Jesus, and to Jesus alone. Not looking at ourselves, not looking at others to see how we compare, but looking solely and always at Jesus. We should not live for the grades or the ranking or the success, but we should seek to live faithful lives that trust Jesus for our strength and righteous standing before the Father that we might bring His name glory in all that we say and do in every moment of every day. Be all there.

"The Advocate"

As promised. :) Written by Charitie Lees Smith.

Before the Throne of God above
I have a strong and perfect plea
A great High Priest whose name is Love
Who ever lives and pleads for me.
My name is graven on His hands,
My name is written on His heart.
I know that while in Heaven He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart.

When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end of all my sin.
Because the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free.
For God the just is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me.

Behold Him there the risen Lamb,
My perfect spotless righteousness,
The great unchangeable I AM,
The King of glory and of grace.
One in Himself I cannot die,
My soul is purchased by His blood,
My life is hid with Christ on high,
With Christ my Savior and my God!

Hymns Permeate My Heart

I don't want to denounce the value of the Bible, but sometimes lines from hymns stick with me better than passages from Scripture. I can read certain verses and it makes me think of certain hymns. I feel a little ashamed at times when I think "Oh, that Bible verse comes from this song" - when in reality it is the other way around. Nevertheless, I am incredibly grateful to the hymn writers throughout the centuries for giving me another resource and inspiration for my Christian walk. When certain truths are put to music, they are easier to remember, and at times they make more sense.
One of my favorite hymns that is rather unknown is called "Before the Throne of God Above", or can also be titled, "The Advocate", as I have recently discovered. I was first introduced to it several years ago at the girls summer camp at my church. It is written by Charitie Lees Smith, who is also an unknown hymn writer. She wrote "The Advocate" when she was twenty two years old, which is quite inspiring considering the truths present and the skill with which she manipulates the lyrics. It speaks of Christ being our all in all, sufficient for every trial we may ever face. We need not fear for He is our Savior, friend, advocate.
Lately I have been going through spiritual attack of being overwhelmed by guilt. I feel guilty for things I haven't even done or I have no control over, and I continue to feel guilty for sins I have already confessed and been forgiven of. The most frustrating part of it all is that I still have this tremendous desire to please God and so I don't want to ignore these feelings of guilt if they are coming from Him, pointing me to obedience or repentance. But after a while I had to realize that these feelings couldn't come from Him, as they are almost paralyzing, driving me into intense despair. A couple lines from this hymn, "The Advocate", came to my mind and a peace washed over me as I re-realized Who was on my side. They begin the second verse:
"When Satan tempts to despair,
And tells me of the guilt within;
Upward I look and see Him there,
Who made an end of all my sin."
This is the gospel. Christ's atoning sacrifice cleanses us not only from the power of sin, but also its guilt. Satan will try to bring us down by reminding us of past sins (or in my case, things never even committed), but to quote another hymn: "What though the accuser roar, of ills that I have done, I know them well, and thousands more, Jehovah findeth none!" As believers, God the Father sees us as righteous because we are clothes with the righteousness of Christ. "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Romans 8:1
Praise Jesus that this is true! I am so thankful that His sacrificial work on the cross atones for all my sin - past, present, and future! I have nothing to fear or worry about because of His infinite love for me!
P.S. "The Advocate" is so good that I would like to post the lyrics on this blog, but I'll do it in a separate post. :)

Open Minds & Stretched Lives

     Maybe I should drink coffee more often before church. I only have caffeine about twice a month, so when I do have it, my mind goes crazy alert. That’s how I was this morning – I got a whole bunch of stuff from the message. My only problem now is trying to condense it all into a coherent whole, when this morning everything my pastor said would lead me onto a theological rabbit trail.

     The sermon was on the church being the body of Christ, taking from Acts 2 and 1 Corinthians 12. I think that Christ’s design of the church is pretty much the coolest thing ever and something that is really not promoted much in today’s society, so I already knew that I was going to like the message. 

     Anyways, the first thing that struck me was when my pastor was talking about how every member in the church is different and has been endowed with  distinctive gifts in order to serve the body. He said that sometimes (for me it’s all the time) we have this idea in our heads of what we’re good at or where we’re gifted, and we limit ourselves to that area. But God doesn't work like that, and he knows us better than we know ourselves. The illustration was used of that of a baseball team, as my pastor used to coach baseball. When players joined the team, they would tell the coach what position they typically played or where they were good at. The coach would take that into consideration, but he would watch all the players together and determine where each one would go. Someone might be good at playing 3^rd base individually because they've always been told they had got a good arm, but that doesn't mean that’s where they should play on this particular team. The coach is the one who evaluates all the players and decides the best way for them all to play together as a team. 

     This analogy works for any kind of team or community effort. I have seen it in casts for plays, sports teams, choirs, even in the workplace. The only difference between these groups and the church is that God is the perfect director while coaches and directors are fallible leaders. The last point that my pastor made in his sermon was that the organization of the body of believers is by God’s sovereign arrangement. When I hear the term “arrangement”, I think in musical terms. An arranger is typically someone who takes a previously composed piece and changes several aspects of it (typically the harmonies and possibly the time signature/tempo), but keeps the melody and intrinsic parts of the piece the same. God is not someone that comes along behind someone else and re-does their work. The work was God’s to begin with. He not only arranges the church, he composed it to begin with. He composed (created) each of the people that make up the church, orchestrated (another musical term) their salvation, and assigned them their particular gifts in order to serve the church.

     Once we realize that the assigning and playing out of our gifts is in the Lord's hands, we should become much more open-minded with how we are going to be serving His kingdom. A quote that I read the other day went something like, "what messes up our lives up the most is our perception of how they ought to be." Talk to any person on the street and I'm sure that they are disappointed about something in their life, because it didn't turn out the way that they thought it should have. But, Isaiah 55:8-9 says, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." God does not work in the same way as we do, but we must trust Him to do what is best for us. 

     This has become very apparent as of late in my own life. For the past nineteen years, my relationship status has been "single". In the past two or three years, I have learned to become content in this area of my life, and have even relished and rejoiced in it at times. I was able to serve the Lord with a full fire, without the distraction of a relationship, and I got excited at the thought of remaining single my entire life because of the way that I thought the Lord could work in me and through me. 

     But, things changed a couple months ago. Out of the blue, without asking for it, a relationship blossomed in my life. It starting taking up some of my time and effort, and before long I was freaking out because I didn't know who I was anymore. I had placed my identity as a servant in being single. I thought that I could serve God's kingdom better by being single than by being in a relationship, and I was shocked to be proven wrong. In the last few months, I have grown in so many areas and so many ways that I never thought were possible. I see how relationships promote community and how I can be an encouragement to others. I could go on and on, but you get the picture. God was right, and I was wrong. I thought I was gifted in the art of singleness (and maybe I was, though it's doubtful), but God determined that it was better for me to be stretched through this relationship. 

     And boy, has it stretched me. It has been painful at times, and has laid my sins bare. But that's the thing about God - he's not in it for comfort. He's in it to sanctify us and make us more like his Son. A beautiful quote from C.S. Lewis is: "...the great thing to remember is that, though our feelings come and go, His love for us does not. It is not wearied by our sins, or our indifference; and, therefore, it is quite relentless in its determination that we shall be cured of those sins, at whatever cost to us, at whatever cost to Him." (Mere Christianity). 

     Believer, are you ready to open your mind and let go of your self-image, your picture of who you think you are and what you're good at? Are you ready and willing to dive in and serve Christ's church in whatever area is needed? Are you ready and willing to be stretched if it means becoming more like Christ and furthering His kingdom? 

     If it sounds like a daunting task, that's because it is. But God is faithful, even when we are not. And the Holy Spirit is with us always, working in us, both to will and to do His good pleasure. I have no other words but praise for my Lord, who both saves and sanctifies my soul! 

           

      

           

"Hallelujah! What a Saviour!"

This line is the refrain for the hymn "Man of Sorrows" by Philip P. Bliss. Each verse describes what the Man of Sorrows (Jesus) went through for our sake in order that our sins might be atoned for and his righteousness imputed to us. Then the refrain comes in, signifying our response to these wonderful truths: "Hallelujah! What a Saviour!" 

This should be our life's refrain. In poverty and riches, sickness and in health - Hallelujah, what a Saviour! When we feel confused, emotional, and frustrated, we can still say Hallelujah because we know what kind of a Saviour we have. When we are aware of God's crazy love for us in our unlovable state, we can praise Him for the gift of the Saviour that He gave out of His love for us. Whatever happens, at the end of day we can say "Hallelujah! What a Saviour!" 

This is what Hebrews 12:1-2 means when it says to "run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." Jesus counted it a joy to die for us. Wow. That should inspire us to praise and joyfulness. We are to be looking to Jesus, our Saviour, during the whole race. Because of Him we can say "Hallelujah" in any circumstance. 

"Tho' sundered far; by faith they meet"

This line comes from the hymn "From Every Stormy Wind That Blows", written by Hugh Stowell and composed by Thomas Hastings. The entire third verse is as follows:

"There is a spot where spirits blend, Where friend holds fellowship with friend, 

Tho' sundered far; by faith they meet Around the common mercy seat."

I love prayer, and I love praying with other people. It ties you together like nothing else can. I have a prayer group that meets once a week, and this past week one of the girls mentioned how amazing it is that the four of us there were all from different states (and I could add: different backgrounds, schooling, families, etc.), yet the Lord brought us together this semester to live on the same hall and to pray together. Crazy. God is too good to us.

"Spirits blend." There is no strife when prayer is present. When two or three are gathered in God's name, he is there among them. Like-minded believers become even more like-minded when they pray together. Your spirits meld and you understand one another better as you come before the throne of God with each other. 

"Friend holds fellowship with friend." The best thing you can do for someone is to pray for them, and the most enriching thing you can do for a relationship is to pray together. Prayer is intentional, intimate, the baring of our hearts before our Father. To pray with someone is to have close fellowship with them.

"Tho' sundered far; by faith they meet." This is what I was getting at earlier. The word "sundered" means to be separated or parted. It's amazing to see the bond that Christians have with each other even though they have never met. This past summer I felt closer with some people from Mexico that I had met ten minutes prior, than other people that I have known most of my life, simply because I knew we had the same Father and we prayed to Him together. The prayer group with the girls on my hall has given me a deeper relationship with them that I don't believe could have happened otherwise. 

"Around the common mercy seat." The mercy seat is a place of glory and reverence, but it is also a place of acceptance and familiarity. We do not need to "prepare ourselves" to pray, for our Father is always ready to hear us. The mercy seat is common in that it is widespread. I believe there are people all over the world that are praying to God right now. That is amazing to think about, and to know that God hears them all! 

What an awesome God we have! Let us not take the privilege of prayer lightly!