Giving

     Some people are afraid to give. It's easy to feel that way, especially if you aren't on the wealthier side of the population. At least that's what I think. It's easy to be afraid that you won't have enough money or resources to live off of day to day if you give some of it away to other people.
     My husband and I recently moved to live on campus at Seminary, where my husband is a full-time student. Now we live off of one income, of which I am primarily responsible for. Growing up, I didn't consider myself a stingy person, but when I met my husband, I realized that I wasn't doing all that I could do. John would not even flinch when agreeing to help someone out with something, or help them out financially, or buy gifts for people. Even after knowing him for 5 years, I still am pretty confident he is a much more cheerful giver than me.
     I know that giving in general is commanded in the Bible, but I always thought that how much you gave depended on how much you had. If you had "extra" money, food, etc. - you should give that away - but anything that you really needed you should keep for yourself. But as it turns out, some of the most generous givers are some of the most financially unstable people I know. Not that we should be irresponsible with our money (because the Bible has something to say about that too), but they put the needs of others before their own.
     In Luke chapter 21, Jesus recognizes not the rich for their offerings, but the poor widow. Not only was this woman poor in spirit, she was poor financially. In verse 4 He says, "For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on." Was she being irresponsible with her money? No, she valued God more than she valued her life, her belongings, and her possessions. His kingdom came before hers.
     I realized something so unique about giving the other day. I used to always think that if you gave to someone, your gift helped that one person and no further. They used up your money, your time, etc. and then it was gone. Not so. I have a story to tell.
     My father and mother-in-law are two of the most generous people I know (I guess that's where my husband learned it from). In the past several months, we have visited them multiple times, and the last time we were at their house, we were given almost 10 pounds of frozen meat to take home with us! We didn't ask for it or say how can't afford meat; they just gave it to us.
     A week or two later, several women in our community at Seminary had a baby. Meal sign-ups were being distributed, and though I love to make meals for others, I usually am a bit reserved about making them for others due to our finances. However, when this time came around, I thought it should be no problem - I have 10 pounds of meat in the freezer!
     Thus, a gift from one person can and should be passed along to another person. Giving is like home-based missions, being a part of God's plan of provision for someone. You never know who could be in need, or how far your gift will travel to meet that need. Who knows what these meals will do for the families that receive them? Maybe it will allow the mom to get some much needed sleep, or for the dad to have time to read his bible, or for the kids to get a change from PB & J. Who knows? Only God. Giving is our chance to be good stewards of the gifts God has given us and so play a role in his process of provision.

Inconvenient Love

A few weeks ago I felt like I was not managing my time very well – which when you are as busy as I am, time management skills are almost crucial to survival. In order to remedy this problem, I began to construct a weekly time management schedule in which I assigned a certain number of hours per week for each of the activities I was involved in (this also included basic things, such as personal care and travel time).

This did really help me figure out my priorities; what did I want to spend my time on the most? Spending quality time with my husband was one of the items on the top of my list. I wanted to make sure that I not only spent time with him doing “important” things, such as paying bills & exercising together, but also just getting to know him and having fun being married. Laying out this time schedule made me realize just how many hours I have available to fill with this desired activity.

But the reason I am writing this article is not to give you good advice on how to manage your time (though I think it is a pretty good idea to do so), but to tell you that it didn’t work.

Oh, sure, managing how long I should take when brushing my teeth wasn’t too hard. Anything I could be in control of wasn’t too difficult. But throw in anything that dealt with something unpredictable - say people, for instance - was difficult to keep within my time parameters.

I would plan out fun things to do with my husband for an hour or two one night, and he would come home from work too tired to do anything, or want to do something different. There would be times when I planned to pray, and someone would give me a phone call. People even interrupted my “manageable” time – My husband wanted to talk while I needed to fix dinner, someone needed help at work during my lunch break, etc. I began to be almost more frustrated about my time more than I was before I started this exercise. I could not be in control of my time and stick to my schedule, no matter how hard I tried. I thought this would be a good way to better love my husband and make more time for people, and yet I became peeved whenever someone interrupted a time in my day that was not already set aside for them.

Through my trial and error, I realized that love can sometimes (or rather most of the time) be inconvenient. If it was convenient, if it was according to your own timetable, it wouldn't be love. Love is sacrifice. Love is giving up your wants and needs for the other person. I love my husband best when I scratch his back and help him with homework when he asks me too even though I'm dead tired. I love my neighbor best when I meet their needs before I meet my own. I love my church best when I spend additional hours helping and serving in order to fulfill the ministry purposes of the church. 

While Jesus was on earth, he was constantly interrupted and inconvenienced by people who wanted him to do things for them. He could barely teach or go to sleep or eat because of the barrage of people who were so needy. But he never turned one away. Ephesians 5:2 says to "walk in love" - not to set aside a few hours a week to do it. We walk in it; our life is characterized by it. Many people say that love isn't a feeling, it's an action. I would go so far as to say that it's not only an action to do from time to time, it's a way of life.