Inconvenient Love

A few weeks ago I felt like I was not managing my time very well – which when you are as busy as I am, time management skills are almost crucial to survival. In order to remedy this problem, I began to construct a weekly time management schedule in which I assigned a certain number of hours per week for each of the activities I was involved in (this also included basic things, such as personal care and travel time).

This did really help me figure out my priorities; what did I want to spend my time on the most? Spending quality time with my husband was one of the items on the top of my list. I wanted to make sure that I not only spent time with him doing “important” things, such as paying bills & exercising together, but also just getting to know him and having fun being married. Laying out this time schedule made me realize just how many hours I have available to fill with this desired activity.

But the reason I am writing this article is not to give you good advice on how to manage your time (though I think it is a pretty good idea to do so), but to tell you that it didn’t work.

Oh, sure, managing how long I should take when brushing my teeth wasn’t too hard. Anything I could be in control of wasn’t too difficult. But throw in anything that dealt with something unpredictable - say people, for instance - was difficult to keep within my time parameters.

I would plan out fun things to do with my husband for an hour or two one night, and he would come home from work too tired to do anything, or want to do something different. There would be times when I planned to pray, and someone would give me a phone call. People even interrupted my “manageable” time – My husband wanted to talk while I needed to fix dinner, someone needed help at work during my lunch break, etc. I began to be almost more frustrated about my time more than I was before I started this exercise. I could not be in control of my time and stick to my schedule, no matter how hard I tried. I thought this would be a good way to better love my husband and make more time for people, and yet I became peeved whenever someone interrupted a time in my day that was not already set aside for them.

Through my trial and error, I realized that love can sometimes (or rather most of the time) be inconvenient. If it was convenient, if it was according to your own timetable, it wouldn't be love. Love is sacrifice. Love is giving up your wants and needs for the other person. I love my husband best when I scratch his back and help him with homework when he asks me too even though I'm dead tired. I love my neighbor best when I meet their needs before I meet my own. I love my church best when I spend additional hours helping and serving in order to fulfill the ministry purposes of the church. 

While Jesus was on earth, he was constantly interrupted and inconvenienced by people who wanted him to do things for them. He could barely teach or go to sleep or eat because of the barrage of people who were so needy. But he never turned one away. Ephesians 5:2 says to "walk in love" - not to set aside a few hours a week to do it. We walk in it; our life is characterized by it. Many people say that love isn't a feeling, it's an action. I would go so far as to say that it's not only an action to do from time to time, it's a way of life.