Looking Up

     Hebrews 12:1-3 is one of my favorite verses in the Bible for several reasons, one of those being that it applies a running analogy to the message that it conveys. I am a runner at heart, and in the last six months or so I have become even more of a runner in practice.
     One thing I have noticed while I run is my form. The coach that I train with occasionally has talked about form, and its importance to running a good race. Of course most people would assume that bending over while running is not conducive to breathing, or folding your arms over your chest causes you to be off balance - but most people don't do those sorts of drastic things while trying to run. It's smaller things - a little imbalance of the core, a little turning in of the foot, etc., the things people don't realize but can truly effect your run. And everyone's body is created and operates differently, and everyone has bad habits that need to be broken.
     I discovered one of my bad habits a couple weeks ago. And it applies directly to verse 2 of Hebrews 12.
     When I run, I tend to tilt my chin down and look primarily at the ground instead of out ahead in front of me. There could be several reasons for this (and probably all of them are true). I could be trying very hard and concentrating on each step, I could be extremely weary and too tired to lift my head, or I could be afraid of looking out front for fear of tripping and falling. All of these at the time seemed like valid reasons to look down - until I started looking up.
     When I look up, I run so much faster. Why? I'm not completely sure. It's probably more of a psychological thing rather than physical. I'm no longer looking at my body to make sure it's behaving properly, and I'm no longer looking at the obstacles in front of me. I'm looking up and out, focused on where I'm headed and focused on the journey there.
     Hebrews 12:2 doesn't tell us to look at ourselves and our sin. In fact, in verse 1 it says to lay aside our sin which clings so closely. It also doesn't tell us to look at our obstacles and trials in life. Verse 2 begins with, "looking to Jesus". Where did Jesus go, but before us? He ran the perfect race so we wouldn't have to, but nevertheless we follow in His footsteps.
     Looking up isn't easy. It requires faith and trust to take your eyes off yourself and your circumstances, and to gaze at something that seems so distant. But I promise you that if you do that, you will be unchained and free to run with more vigor and endurance towards that which you are pursuing.  

Endurance

     Hebrews 12:1 has always been the go-to verse for runners. "...and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us..." How? Where is this endurance supposed to come from? How are we supposed to motivate ourselves and endure? It is of crucial importance to continue reading on to verse 2: "looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and it seated at the right hand of the throne of God."
     How do we endure? Because Jesus endured. How did Jesus endure? Because of the joy set before Him.
Endurance always has a goal in mind. Why do we exercise? Because we know it's good for us and we'll feel better afterwards. Why do we work hard throughout the semester? Because we want good grades, and eventually, a degree. We endure because we know that at some point we will not have to endure any longer.
     God has been gracious to give us in this life periods of rest after times of endurance. When I endured through my long run this morning, I knew I wouldn't have to run anymore (or at least not for the next 24 hrs) after I finished those 7 miles. We endure throughout the day, and we get to rest and go to sleep at night. As believers we endure through this life - "the race", as Paul calls it - because of the glory that is to be revealed to us - Heaven. In order to endure and be faithful in our lives, we have to be looking to something ahead of us. Something that is worth enduring for. We need to look to Jesus. When we look to Jesus, we see how our suffering pales in comparison with his, although we are grateful for it because we know that without his suffering none of us would ever reach glory. Heaven is something to look forward to as well. We can be content with weaknesses, suffering, hardships, upsets, and confusion because we know that one day none of that will exist anymore, if we are in Christ.
     That is why Hell is such an awful place. There is no endurance there. The misery never ends - there is no light at the end of the tunnel. There is nothing to look forward to after the agony. And Heaven is the exact opposite. There is no endurance in Heaven either, because there will be nothing unpleasant. We will fully enjoy everything that we do, and we will never struggle again with being discontent or unhappy with our circumstances.
     Praise God that he has delivered me from the wrath to come! This world is not my home, for I am seeking a better country. Praise God that He gives me the strength to endure through His Son, and that after I have suffered a little while, God himself will confirm, restore, strengthen and establish me!

Mary vs. Martha

     If you asked anyone what would be one quality or attribute of a missionary, chances are you will get something along the lines of “serving” or “humility”. At least that’s what I would say. It is a very good thing to serve, to be doing the work of the Lord and be zealous for His kingdom.

     However, I believe that the idea of serving can become twisted when we forget the people or the person (God) we are doing this for. I know this because I have seen it in my own life, and it has become more apparent this summer as I have been engaged in full-time ministry.

     I am a task-oriented person as opposed to a people-oriented person, so I naturally place more importance on tasks rather than relationships. You could say I am a Martha, easily distracted by the work that needs to be done. What I have realized lately is that the church contains a lot of Marthas. There are always people serving, working hard – sometimes so much so that I feel as though there is no room for extra helping hands. When there are so many people helping clean up after an event that there is nothing for me to do, I feel at unease and a little insecure. Why? Because I don’t want to be a Mary.

     A Mary could be classified in one sense as a people-oriented person, but in a more deeper sense it is someone who realizes what truly matters and seeks after it. Luke 10:42 describes Mary as having chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her. She went after the spiritual things which last forever, while Martha was preoccupied with fading physical cares. The Marys of the church are the ones who engage newcomers in conversation, who asks how people are doing like they really mean it, whose minds are set on souls rather than bodies. Marys will invite everyone they know to the table for the marriage feast of the Lamb, while Marthas will worry about how everyone will fit.

     We need more Marys in the church. We need people to engage non-Christians and to build relationships and spur one another on in the faith. We need people who don’t have to rush off right after the service ends to go do one thing or another. Churches will blossom when Marys are present, for their minds are ever on heaven and they will cultivate the seeds that are being sown.

     Now back to the idea of serving. I am not at all saying it is a bad thing to be a servant and to fill a position in a church. That is necessary for a church to survive as well. But the number of Marthas I have seen far outweighs the number of Marys in many of the churches I have been in. Why? We are busy. We try to be the “better Christian” as far as who is most humble and most willing to serve. We forget the gospel and we still think we can earn or add to our salvation through our works. If we don’t have some reason to rush out the door after church, we try to be working behind the scenes so no one will notice how we’re not doing so hot spiritually. Sometimes our service can be the mask we hide behind, and the distraction we entertain for the sake of security.

     I would challenge you to examine your heart and see where you stand. Are you a Martha? Or a Mary? Is your mind set on the things above, or worldly cares? What is your motivation behind your service? C.S. Lewis said, “If you read in history you will find that the Christians who did the most for the present world were precisely those who thought most of the next.” Mary was commended by Jesus for choosing the good portion. Which will you choose?

Simplicity

     Being in missions can be overwhelming. There are so many things to learn and do. It seems really complicated to be diving into a new culture and trying to help out the missionaries and churches there.

     But what I've learned since being in Tokyo is that being in missions actually helps you enjoy the simple and more basic things in life. That would make sense if you were somewhere like Africa where you only had the "bare necessities" in a physical sense, but it applies to Japan as well.

     Being an American in the United States is easy. People are similar to you and it's easy to get along. But at the same time people are similar and we try to distinguish ourselves through the things that don't really matter. There become cliques and groups of people we decide not to associate with. As Christians, it's easy to only associate with Christians because there are enough to go around in the States.

     But in a place like Japan, there aren't that many Christians. 0.22% are professing believers. And coming into a country not knowing anyone previously, you don't know whether the person you are talking to is a Christian or not. Even in the churches, many are not Christians either. Therefore you are forced to treat everyone equally. There are no classes or ranks, no sects or divisions, and everyone needs the gospel.

     That's what is so amazing about missionaries - they have the power to overcome social boundaries and reach all people for Christ.

     It is so refreshing to talk to the people here because you have no biases or preconceived notions about a person or group of people. You come to realize that you all have humanity in common and that becomes enough for you to be friends. For the believers, you have Christ in common and that creates an even tighter bond.

     The message of the gospel is for everyone, and it is much more simple than we think. Being here in Tokyo has helped me see that God's good news and His love has no boundaries, and we get to be the gateways of it.

Geometry in Missions

    I believe Geometry was my least favorite math to take in high school. I still learned things from it, but not a lot of it made much sense to me. Therefore, the Geometry used in this post will be very simple, I promise. :)

    I used to think of missions in terms of a line. A missionary would be sent from one country to another, bringing the good news. The mathematical definition of a line is an extent of length, straight or curved, without breadth or thickness. Therefore, unless something was placed along the path of the line (in between the start and end points), then it would not intersect or come into contact with the line. In the case of my mission this summer, I was thinking: I am going to Tokyo, Japan to minister to the Japanese people there and be a light and bring the gospel to them. I was thinking almost entirely about being a missionary to the Japanese there in Tokyo. That line (heh heh) of thinking was not entirely wrong, just limited.

    I thought about home missions in this way as well. You decide what people you are going to minister in your life and what organizations (church, volunteer, school, etc.) you are going to be a part of, and that is where you will be a witness. Whoever is not a part of those specific areas will not come into contact with your line of missions. Again, I don't think it's wrong to be a part of specific ministry organizations and such, it's just limited.

   It's limited because the gospel is so much more organic, big, and all-encompassing to be treated as a line. Continuing to use that word organic, the definition of an organic shape (Most any shapes found in the natural world) is: having free-form, unpredictable and flowing in appearance. The gospel doesn't have definite shape because it's supposed to go everywhere! It shouldn't be confined to a man-made shape or line, because it should move and grow wherever you, the believer, are.

    What I have learned about this mission internship so far (and I haven't even officially started it yet!), is that it's about a whole lot more than bringing the Japanese people to Christ (though that is an excellent goal). There are so many people I have the ability to influence along the way. There are over 100 people who are receiving my newsletter (some of whom are not believers), over 30 people supported me financially, I am working with several staff and missionaries from Mission to the World, and in three days I will be living and growing with 60+ other interns who are doing something similar to me all around the world. All of this is happening even before I get to Japan, and most of these connections will continue while I am there.

    Missions isn't about going for two months to a foreign country to help with a gospel music ministry. Missions isn't about getting out for a day to go door-to-door, and then afterwards retreating back into your comfort zone.

    Missions is about blooming and shining brightly where God has placed you, and letting His love and good news blast out of you, reaching to ALL you come into contact with and treating everyone equally because we ALL equally need the gospel.

Unqualified

     Unqualified: not officially recognized as a practitioner of a particular profession or activity through having satisfied the relevant conditions or requirements.

Over the past year, the Lord has thrown quite a few things that I have felt "unqualified" for. This internship in Tokyo is one of them. I have struggled tremendously on whether or not I should even go on this trip because of how unprepared I feel for it. I think only the fact that I do not know what to expect settles my emotions and my requirements of myself.

     As with anything in life, there can always be someone more "qualified" for a position or opportunity, according to man's standards. Someone that speaks more than a few phrases of Japanese would be better qualified than me. Someone who has their doctorate in music would be better qualified than me. On and on the list goes, of people who could better fill the shoes I was given.

In conjunction with the life changes that the Lord has thrown at me, He has uncovered a large amount of my sin before my eyes. This is another area where I feel unqualified. If I cannot do the daily spiritual tasks, how will I ever be faithful to minister to unbelievers everyday? If I waver in my faith and struggle with unbelief, how will I ever be able to lead someone to faith in Christ? This is the larger part that concerns me.

     These questions and thoughts have been rolling around in my head for some time, causing stress and worry. I have felt trapped and confused.

     I was listening to a sermon today which was talking about four promises that the Lord wants to give in our lives. This sermon was specifically talking about the second cup, which is deliverance from the power and guilt of sin (which can only happen after the first cup: salvation). The pastor explained that this is something that will continue throughout our entire Christian lives, but we still have to progress on to the third and fourth cups, which are discovering God's purpose in our life and our place in the body of believers, respectively. The pastor stated that if you are already a Christian, the devil tries to keep you stuck at the second cup. He tries to keep you from ever fulfilling God's plan for your life.

     I now have discovered that those questions and thoughts I have been struggling with are simply lies. Untruths told to keep me trapped.

     Moses didn't feel qualified to speak to Pharaoh or to lead God's people, but the Lord chose Him. God tends to choose some of the most unlikely people to carry out His will.

     Our theme verse for all of the interns this summer is 2 Corinthians 12:9-10: "But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

     I understand this verse on a deeper level and I pray that the Lord will continue to permeate it through my heart this summer, and that I would trust His will! Praise Him for His truth which uncovers lies, His light which dispels the darkness!

Cool Story, Bro

     I love telling stories. I have found that is what people remember best, especially if they have an emotional involvement with the stories. Stories are like long analogies, enabling listeners to understand truths or facts from them. I understand why Jesus taught in parables, because they make sense if we have the ability to 'read between the lines'.
     Anyway, I have a cool story that I've wanted to share for the last week or so. It involves a funny providence (I actually did laugh at this one) of God to remind me of His promises.
     I like to color and do calligraphy. At the beginning of this most recent school year, I had created a mini poster that had Matthew 6:34 on it, which says, "So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will care for itself." I had hung it in our bathroom, so that I would have to see it everyday.
     During the last week of school (finals week) I was packing up all of my things as I was going to be leaving to go home once I was done with my last final. I was quite stressed for several different reasons. I hate leaving any place and moving to a new one, I dislike packing up when I feel like I have so much stuff, and I had a dead phone while I was trying to organize and set up plans for the summer and next school year.
     Because the poster had some water stains on it from being in the bathroom, I decided to throw it away rather than pack it up. I don't even think I read it before I dropped it in the trashcan, and I proceeded to be worried and restless.
     The next day I was still stressed out. But lo and behold, I went into the bathroom, and the poster was hanging back up on the wall again! At first I was confused, then frustrated, and then I laughed when I realized that God was trying to get my attention. Even though it was probably one of my roommates that had put it back up, I know it was God's design for me to see it again and actually read it this time.
     Sometimes the Lord gives us reminders, but we're so stuck in our little circles or slump to notice. And then God uses extraordinary means (a roommate's care for her fellow roommate's things) to grab our attention. Don't let the Lord have to tell you twice.
     I'm glad that I saw that poster again because I was reminded of His promise that He is in control and I have nothing to worry about. But I hope that in the future it won't take me a day and a half to realize that. Hope this story brightens and enlightens your day. Cheers.

A Love More Vast

"It's easy to believe the gospel when you don't think you really need it."

It's easy for doctors to cure healthy people.

But it's rather ludicrous for healthy people to see a doctor, isn't it? We all know that there are enough sick people around to keep the doctors busy; there is no need for the healthy to visit a hospital.

But then again, what if you never visited a hospital? What if you never got check-ups? You can believe you're healthy all you want, but when cancerous cells are spreading throughout your body you'll realize at some point that you are not healthy, and have not been for some time.

Everyone - whether you're a health nut or your average couch potato - believes there are certain things you can do to keep yourself healthy. But what if you don't succeed? What if all your efforts to maintain a healthy body come to nothing as you develop a rare and deadly disease?

"It's easy to believe the gospel when you don't think you really need it."

Through my upbringing under the gospel, I have always heard the term "Easy-believism", or "Jesus and". It's easy to reconcile the fact that Jesus paid for our sins as long as there's something else helping out too. Jesus can't really be that powerful or loving or sacrificial or merciful.

Of course, we wouldn't dare say that last sentence out loud - but I'm pretty sure most Christians have believed that at one time or another. We like to add things to Jesus' work. His finished work.

One of my "easy-believisms" is what I like to call, "Jesus and my superior mask of good works and sweet words that elevates me above most if not all of my peers."

I am just like the pharisee: "God, I thank you that I am not like other men..." (Luke 18:11)

But what if all my efforts are in vain? What if my sin gets too big for me to hide? What if it controls and envelops me until I feel like a miserable, disgusting, mess? Where do I turn to for my security and stability?

Over the past 6-7 months or so God has been exposing me in many areas of my life. I have committed sins that I thought were "beneath me". Wrong. Nothing is beneath me, because I am a sinner. The heart is deceitful above all things, who can know it?

"It's easy to believe the gospel when you don't think you really need it."

After you sin, Christian, really sin - you'll realize how hard it is to believe the gospel. How could God ever forgive you, if you can't even forgive yourself?

I'm not boasting in my horrible sinful nature nor glorifying it - I simply want to express that it can be a means for God reveal to us the depth of the gospel. It takes time, but God is a patient teacher. He loves us enough to allow us to learn from our mistakes.

After you're exposed - and you come to the terms that no one could or should ever really love you except God Himself - then you'll see the vast, unconditional, constant and consistent love He has for you. He remembers our sins no more - even when we do!

Praise God that no matter how much we forsake Him, no matter how much we grieve Him, no matter how guilty and shameful we feel, He still LOVES us! His love for us is more vast than we could ever imagine.

Product vs. Process

     We live in a productive, efficient-driven country. How can businesses increase productivity rates? How can we get the most bang for our buck?If you have ever been in an economics class, you know that creating the most amount of product in the fastest and cheapest way is the best way to make the most amount of profit, which of course is what we all strive for, right?
     Even the education system emphasizes the product. By making a student's tests the primary portion of their final grade, the student has 2-10 chances during the class to prove themselves worthy of passing due to their knowledge of the material. Even though we may joke about it, no one really gets an "A for Effort".
     Being a performer, I see nothing but a total reliance upon the product or performance for our merit as artists. The only reason we practice and rehearse is to have a good performance. The only reason we do our daily work is because we know the test is coming, and our reputation depends upon it.
     What if we lived all of life that way? Some people do. For some people they have absolutely no motivation to exercise unless they have a public goal or performance they are working towards, while for others it is not necessary to act spiritual unless they are at church. Some of my examples you may consider to be extremes, but we have all dealt with this is one way or another. And I'm not saying that this is how we behave all the time, but nevertheless the temptation is still there because of our own sin and the world that we live in.
     But, recently, I have discovered that the product is not the most important thing.  My voice teacher is the one that has instilled in me the saying, "process is more important than product". While I knew that was in some ways true, I didn't really understand what it meant to live that way. I saw it in relation to the gospel; that we are not saved by our works. Of course that makes sense intellectually, but what does it look like?
     A quote from Jim Elliot has been running through my mind lately: "Wherever you are, be all there!" and it continues, "Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God." Too often have I been found guilty of focusing more on the outcome of something or how it affects me rather than what is actually happening. I am by nature a very analytic person, and so if I do not willfully stop myself, I will take a break every few minutes from what I am doing to assess how I am doing and if it is being done right. Often times if I go too long without my constant analysis, I freak out because I don't know whether I am living my life correctly or not. But the truth is, I am not really letting myself live at all when I analyze so often.
     This is definitely not a good thing to do whilst singing. To sing correctly, your mind and body have to be fully committed all the way through with the process of singing. You can't go back mentally, or your body will shut down. If you sing something incorrectly, you can't go back and upbraid yourself for your mistakes, or you will lose your focus and the song will just go downhill from there. For the most part, I believe you have to mostly shut your brain down (especially if you're someone like me) in order to sing properly and without hindrance. Wherever you are, be all there.
     The truth is, ladies and gentlemen, is that it really doesn't matter how well you are doing something, but rather the fact that you are doing it. Who do you think God is more pleased with - someone who ruins their life trying to be the best musician possible and have a perfect performance, or the musician who simply lives day by day playing for the Lord because he gave them their gift? Tests and performances don't always come every day, but we are called every day to use the time and talents we have to glorify our Maker. He is more interested in the process than the product. He is more interested in you trusting Him daily for your strength than achieving spiritual greatness. He is more interested in the journey than the destination.
     If you live in the light of this truth, I promise you won't be disappointed. You will grow and learn so much more when you realize that every moment of every day is ordained by God and is for your good and His glory.
     I have a short story to close. Last weekend I ran a 5k in 26 degree weather. I did not feel as in shape as I was for the last 5k I ran, which was back in October. I honestly was not expecting good results for this race, especially in relation to my performance over the last couple months. So I decided I wasn't going to try to run super fast, I just wanted to finish well. I wanted to enjoy the frigid weather, the beautiful outdoors, and using my body to glorify God. I wanted to present in the process and not be always looking towards the outcome - the finish line. Most of the time when I run races I am constantly looking at my watch to make sure that I am running the pace that I want to be at, but this time I didn't. I looked ahead and I looked around. I basked in the beauty of God's creation. I prayed for the runners around me. I wasn't focused on myself and how I was doing; I was focused on God and what He was working in me and through me right then and there. And you know what? My time was almost 2 minutes faster than my 5k back in October.
     When we focus on the process rather than the product, we will be rewarded. But the truth is, we won't really care anyway. That 5k last week was the best race I've ever run, but not because of my time. I enjoyed close communion with God that I hadn't been getting in a while. I felt His pleasure as I ran, not because I was running fast, but because I was running for Him. Hebrews 12:1-2 says, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus..." We are to lay aside every thing that may weigh us down, and we are to look to Jesus, and to Jesus alone. Not looking at ourselves, not looking at others to see how we compare, but looking solely and always at Jesus. We should not live for the grades or the ranking or the success, but we should seek to live faithful lives that trust Jesus for our strength and righteous standing before the Father that we might bring His name glory in all that we say and do in every moment of every day. Be all there.