Giving

     Some people are afraid to give. It's easy to feel that way, especially if you aren't on the wealthier side of the population. At least that's what I think. It's easy to be afraid that you won't have enough money or resources to live off of day to day if you give some of it away to other people.
     My husband and I recently moved to live on campus at Seminary, where my husband is a full-time student. Now we live off of one income, of which I am primarily responsible for. Growing up, I didn't consider myself a stingy person, but when I met my husband, I realized that I wasn't doing all that I could do. John would not even flinch when agreeing to help someone out with something, or help them out financially, or buy gifts for people. Even after knowing him for 5 years, I still am pretty confident he is a much more cheerful giver than me.
     I know that giving in general is commanded in the Bible, but I always thought that how much you gave depended on how much you had. If you had "extra" money, food, etc. - you should give that away - but anything that you really needed you should keep for yourself. But as it turns out, some of the most generous givers are some of the most financially unstable people I know. Not that we should be irresponsible with our money (because the Bible has something to say about that too), but they put the needs of others before their own.
     In Luke chapter 21, Jesus recognizes not the rich for their offerings, but the poor widow. Not only was this woman poor in spirit, she was poor financially. In verse 4 He says, "For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on." Was she being irresponsible with her money? No, she valued God more than she valued her life, her belongings, and her possessions. His kingdom came before hers.
     I realized something so unique about giving the other day. I used to always think that if you gave to someone, your gift helped that one person and no further. They used up your money, your time, etc. and then it was gone. Not so. I have a story to tell.
     My father and mother-in-law are two of the most generous people I know (I guess that's where my husband learned it from). In the past several months, we have visited them multiple times, and the last time we were at their house, we were given almost 10 pounds of frozen meat to take home with us! We didn't ask for it or say how can't afford meat; they just gave it to us.
     A week or two later, several women in our community at Seminary had a baby. Meal sign-ups were being distributed, and though I love to make meals for others, I usually am a bit reserved about making them for others due to our finances. However, when this time came around, I thought it should be no problem - I have 10 pounds of meat in the freezer!
     Thus, a gift from one person can and should be passed along to another person. Giving is like home-based missions, being a part of God's plan of provision for someone. You never know who could be in need, or how far your gift will travel to meet that need. Who knows what these meals will do for the families that receive them? Maybe it will allow the mom to get some much needed sleep, or for the dad to have time to read his bible, or for the kids to get a change from PB & J. Who knows? Only God. Giving is our chance to be good stewards of the gifts God has given us and so play a role in his process of provision.

Inconvenient Love

A few weeks ago I felt like I was not managing my time very well – which when you are as busy as I am, time management skills are almost crucial to survival. In order to remedy this problem, I began to construct a weekly time management schedule in which I assigned a certain number of hours per week for each of the activities I was involved in (this also included basic things, such as personal care and travel time).

This did really help me figure out my priorities; what did I want to spend my time on the most? Spending quality time with my husband was one of the items on the top of my list. I wanted to make sure that I not only spent time with him doing “important” things, such as paying bills & exercising together, but also just getting to know him and having fun being married. Laying out this time schedule made me realize just how many hours I have available to fill with this desired activity.

But the reason I am writing this article is not to give you good advice on how to manage your time (though I think it is a pretty good idea to do so), but to tell you that it didn’t work.

Oh, sure, managing how long I should take when brushing my teeth wasn’t too hard. Anything I could be in control of wasn’t too difficult. But throw in anything that dealt with something unpredictable - say people, for instance - was difficult to keep within my time parameters.

I would plan out fun things to do with my husband for an hour or two one night, and he would come home from work too tired to do anything, or want to do something different. There would be times when I planned to pray, and someone would give me a phone call. People even interrupted my “manageable” time – My husband wanted to talk while I needed to fix dinner, someone needed help at work during my lunch break, etc. I began to be almost more frustrated about my time more than I was before I started this exercise. I could not be in control of my time and stick to my schedule, no matter how hard I tried. I thought this would be a good way to better love my husband and make more time for people, and yet I became peeved whenever someone interrupted a time in my day that was not already set aside for them.

Through my trial and error, I realized that love can sometimes (or rather most of the time) be inconvenient. If it was convenient, if it was according to your own timetable, it wouldn't be love. Love is sacrifice. Love is giving up your wants and needs for the other person. I love my husband best when I scratch his back and help him with homework when he asks me too even though I'm dead tired. I love my neighbor best when I meet their needs before I meet my own. I love my church best when I spend additional hours helping and serving in order to fulfill the ministry purposes of the church. 

While Jesus was on earth, he was constantly interrupted and inconvenienced by people who wanted him to do things for them. He could barely teach or go to sleep or eat because of the barrage of people who were so needy. But he never turned one away. Ephesians 5:2 says to "walk in love" - not to set aside a few hours a week to do it. We walk in it; our life is characterized by it. Many people say that love isn't a feeling, it's an action. I would go so far as to say that it's not only an action to do from time to time, it's a way of life. 

Free from Perfectionism

Perfectionism has always been something I have struggled with throughout my life. Though I have learned many ways of how to fight it, it is nonetheless still a daily struggle for me.
Thus, I found this article encouraging and helpful. It is from the devotional I read in the mornings, Journey, and is written by several women.

"It is not that we are competent in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our competence is from God." 2 Corinthians 3:5

"Self-condemnation. This unwelcome companion harassed me almost every Sunday for period of time. Riding home from church, I'd tear myself apart because of the way I'd taught our ladies' class. Before long, I descended into a murky pit of self-criticism, discouragement, and distress. Like a snake suffocating its prey, self-condemnation strangled my joy of teaching God's Word to women.

Then, one day, the Lord opened my eyes to 2 Corinthians 3:5. Relief still rushes through me as I hear this truth: I'm not adequate in myself - God makes me adequate. Perfectionism's pressure and the anxiety that 'I just don't measure up' have lost their grip on me as I rely on the reality of 2 Corinthians 3:5.

God imparts special gifts to us so that we can effectively serve Him. 'A demonstration of the Spirit is given to each person to produce what is beneficial' (1 Corinthians 12:7). Our responsibility is to depend on the Holy Spirit's help and steward these gifts as best as possible. The Lord gifts and equips us, enabling us to accomplish all He calls us to do. While God entrusts us with His work, He doesn't intend for us to accomplish it in our own strength.

But so often, that's precisely what we do. Stressing and agonizing over our performance, we strive for perfection. Afterward, we critique ourselves and determine whether our service met the mark. This attitude not only wearies us, it also saddens God. He already 'has given us everything required for life and godliness' (2 Peter 1:3). We simply need to lean on Him: 'If anyone serves, it should be from the strength God provides.' (1 Peter 4:11).

God is pleased when we pursue excellence in our efforts on His behalf. He deserves nothing less. The key, however, rests in the source of our strength. Trusting Him to make us adequate for the task at hand frees us from self-reliance and self-condemnation. God alone grants us adequacy. Knowing this truth enables us to fulfill His plans with joy.

Are you criticizing yourself as you serve the Lord? Just as God lovingly delivered me from these perils, I pray He'll free you as well. God is for us. He has plans to use us. His makes us able."                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      

Looking Up

     Hebrews 12:1-3 is one of my favorite verses in the Bible for several reasons, one of those being that it applies a running analogy to the message that it conveys. I am a runner at heart, and in the last six months or so I have become even more of a runner in practice.
     One thing I have noticed while I run is my form. The coach that I train with occasionally has talked about form, and its importance to running a good race. Of course most people would assume that bending over while running is not conducive to breathing, or folding your arms over your chest causes you to be off balance - but most people don't do those sorts of drastic things while trying to run. It's smaller things - a little imbalance of the core, a little turning in of the foot, etc., the things people don't realize but can truly effect your run. And everyone's body is created and operates differently, and everyone has bad habits that need to be broken.
     I discovered one of my bad habits a couple weeks ago. And it applies directly to verse 2 of Hebrews 12.
     When I run, I tend to tilt my chin down and look primarily at the ground instead of out ahead in front of me. There could be several reasons for this (and probably all of them are true). I could be trying very hard and concentrating on each step, I could be extremely weary and too tired to lift my head, or I could be afraid of looking out front for fear of tripping and falling. All of these at the time seemed like valid reasons to look down - until I started looking up.
     When I look up, I run so much faster. Why? I'm not completely sure. It's probably more of a psychological thing rather than physical. I'm no longer looking at my body to make sure it's behaving properly, and I'm no longer looking at the obstacles in front of me. I'm looking up and out, focused on where I'm headed and focused on the journey there.
     Hebrews 12:2 doesn't tell us to look at ourselves and our sin. In fact, in verse 1 it says to lay aside our sin which clings so closely. It also doesn't tell us to look at our obstacles and trials in life. Verse 2 begins with, "looking to Jesus". Where did Jesus go, but before us? He ran the perfect race so we wouldn't have to, but nevertheless we follow in His footsteps.
     Looking up isn't easy. It requires faith and trust to take your eyes off yourself and your circumstances, and to gaze at something that seems so distant. But I promise you that if you do that, you will be unchained and free to run with more vigor and endurance towards that which you are pursuing.  

Endurance

     Hebrews 12:1 has always been the go-to verse for runners. "...and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us..." How? Where is this endurance supposed to come from? How are we supposed to motivate ourselves and endure? It is of crucial importance to continue reading on to verse 2: "looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and it seated at the right hand of the throne of God."
     How do we endure? Because Jesus endured. How did Jesus endure? Because of the joy set before Him.
Endurance always has a goal in mind. Why do we exercise? Because we know it's good for us and we'll feel better afterwards. Why do we work hard throughout the semester? Because we want good grades, and eventually, a degree. We endure because we know that at some point we will not have to endure any longer.
     God has been gracious to give us in this life periods of rest after times of endurance. When I endured through my long run this morning, I knew I wouldn't have to run anymore (or at least not for the next 24 hrs) after I finished those 7 miles. We endure throughout the day, and we get to rest and go to sleep at night. As believers we endure through this life - "the race", as Paul calls it - because of the glory that is to be revealed to us - Heaven. In order to endure and be faithful in our lives, we have to be looking to something ahead of us. Something that is worth enduring for. We need to look to Jesus. When we look to Jesus, we see how our suffering pales in comparison with his, although we are grateful for it because we know that without his suffering none of us would ever reach glory. Heaven is something to look forward to as well. We can be content with weaknesses, suffering, hardships, upsets, and confusion because we know that one day none of that will exist anymore, if we are in Christ.
     That is why Hell is such an awful place. There is no endurance there. The misery never ends - there is no light at the end of the tunnel. There is nothing to look forward to after the agony. And Heaven is the exact opposite. There is no endurance in Heaven either, because there will be nothing unpleasant. We will fully enjoy everything that we do, and we will never struggle again with being discontent or unhappy with our circumstances.
     Praise God that he has delivered me from the wrath to come! This world is not my home, for I am seeking a better country. Praise God that He gives me the strength to endure through His Son, and that after I have suffered a little while, God himself will confirm, restore, strengthen and establish me!

Mary vs. Martha

     If you asked anyone what would be one quality or attribute of a missionary, chances are you will get something along the lines of “serving” or “humility”. At least that’s what I would say. It is a very good thing to serve, to be doing the work of the Lord and be zealous for His kingdom.

     However, I believe that the idea of serving can become twisted when we forget the people or the person (God) we are doing this for. I know this because I have seen it in my own life, and it has become more apparent this summer as I have been engaged in full-time ministry.

     I am a task-oriented person as opposed to a people-oriented person, so I naturally place more importance on tasks rather than relationships. You could say I am a Martha, easily distracted by the work that needs to be done. What I have realized lately is that the church contains a lot of Marthas. There are always people serving, working hard – sometimes so much so that I feel as though there is no room for extra helping hands. When there are so many people helping clean up after an event that there is nothing for me to do, I feel at unease and a little insecure. Why? Because I don’t want to be a Mary.

     A Mary could be classified in one sense as a people-oriented person, but in a more deeper sense it is someone who realizes what truly matters and seeks after it. Luke 10:42 describes Mary as having chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her. She went after the spiritual things which last forever, while Martha was preoccupied with fading physical cares. The Marys of the church are the ones who engage newcomers in conversation, who asks how people are doing like they really mean it, whose minds are set on souls rather than bodies. Marys will invite everyone they know to the table for the marriage feast of the Lamb, while Marthas will worry about how everyone will fit.

     We need more Marys in the church. We need people to engage non-Christians and to build relationships and spur one another on in the faith. We need people who don’t have to rush off right after the service ends to go do one thing or another. Churches will blossom when Marys are present, for their minds are ever on heaven and they will cultivate the seeds that are being sown.

     Now back to the idea of serving. I am not at all saying it is a bad thing to be a servant and to fill a position in a church. That is necessary for a church to survive as well. But the number of Marthas I have seen far outweighs the number of Marys in many of the churches I have been in. Why? We are busy. We try to be the “better Christian” as far as who is most humble and most willing to serve. We forget the gospel and we still think we can earn or add to our salvation through our works. If we don’t have some reason to rush out the door after church, we try to be working behind the scenes so no one will notice how we’re not doing so hot spiritually. Sometimes our service can be the mask we hide behind, and the distraction we entertain for the sake of security.

     I would challenge you to examine your heart and see where you stand. Are you a Martha? Or a Mary? Is your mind set on the things above, or worldly cares? What is your motivation behind your service? C.S. Lewis said, “If you read in history you will find that the Christians who did the most for the present world were precisely those who thought most of the next.” Mary was commended by Jesus for choosing the good portion. Which will you choose?

Simplicity

     Being in missions can be overwhelming. There are so many things to learn and do. It seems really complicated to be diving into a new culture and trying to help out the missionaries and churches there.

     But what I've learned since being in Tokyo is that being in missions actually helps you enjoy the simple and more basic things in life. That would make sense if you were somewhere like Africa where you only had the "bare necessities" in a physical sense, but it applies to Japan as well.

     Being an American in the United States is easy. People are similar to you and it's easy to get along. But at the same time people are similar and we try to distinguish ourselves through the things that don't really matter. There become cliques and groups of people we decide not to associate with. As Christians, it's easy to only associate with Christians because there are enough to go around in the States.

     But in a place like Japan, there aren't that many Christians. 0.22% are professing believers. And coming into a country not knowing anyone previously, you don't know whether the person you are talking to is a Christian or not. Even in the churches, many are not Christians either. Therefore you are forced to treat everyone equally. There are no classes or ranks, no sects or divisions, and everyone needs the gospel.

     That's what is so amazing about missionaries - they have the power to overcome social boundaries and reach all people for Christ.

     It is so refreshing to talk to the people here because you have no biases or preconceived notions about a person or group of people. You come to realize that you all have humanity in common and that becomes enough for you to be friends. For the believers, you have Christ in common and that creates an even tighter bond.

     The message of the gospel is for everyone, and it is much more simple than we think. Being here in Tokyo has helped me see that God's good news and His love has no boundaries, and we get to be the gateways of it.