Unqualified

     Unqualified: not officially recognized as a practitioner of a particular profession or activity through having satisfied the relevant conditions or requirements.

Over the past year, the Lord has thrown quite a few things that I have felt "unqualified" for. This internship in Tokyo is one of them. I have struggled tremendously on whether or not I should even go on this trip because of how unprepared I feel for it. I think only the fact that I do not know what to expect settles my emotions and my requirements of myself.

     As with anything in life, there can always be someone more "qualified" for a position or opportunity, according to man's standards. Someone that speaks more than a few phrases of Japanese would be better qualified than me. Someone who has their doctorate in music would be better qualified than me. On and on the list goes, of people who could better fill the shoes I was given.

In conjunction with the life changes that the Lord has thrown at me, He has uncovered a large amount of my sin before my eyes. This is another area where I feel unqualified. If I cannot do the daily spiritual tasks, how will I ever be faithful to minister to unbelievers everyday? If I waver in my faith and struggle with unbelief, how will I ever be able to lead someone to faith in Christ? This is the larger part that concerns me.

     These questions and thoughts have been rolling around in my head for some time, causing stress and worry. I have felt trapped and confused.

     I was listening to a sermon today which was talking about four promises that the Lord wants to give in our lives. This sermon was specifically talking about the second cup, which is deliverance from the power and guilt of sin (which can only happen after the first cup: salvation). The pastor explained that this is something that will continue throughout our entire Christian lives, but we still have to progress on to the third and fourth cups, which are discovering God's purpose in our life and our place in the body of believers, respectively. The pastor stated that if you are already a Christian, the devil tries to keep you stuck at the second cup. He tries to keep you from ever fulfilling God's plan for your life.

     I now have discovered that those questions and thoughts I have been struggling with are simply lies. Untruths told to keep me trapped.

     Moses didn't feel qualified to speak to Pharaoh or to lead God's people, but the Lord chose Him. God tends to choose some of the most unlikely people to carry out His will.

     Our theme verse for all of the interns this summer is 2 Corinthians 12:9-10: "But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

     I understand this verse on a deeper level and I pray that the Lord will continue to permeate it through my heart this summer, and that I would trust His will! Praise Him for His truth which uncovers lies, His light which dispels the darkness!