Pleroma

     This culture is becoming more and more concerned with the phrase, "self-esteem". What does that even mean? According to dictionary.com (my favorite website ever), the word "esteem" means to "regard highly or favorably; regard with respect or admiration". Therefore, if we have a proper level of self-esteem, that means that we put ourselves in high regard with much admiration. Sounds a bit fishy, doesn't it?
     The phrase "self-esteem" actually originated with Sigmund Freud, a famous psychologist during the late 19th and early 20th centuries. "Self-esteem" does not come from the Bible. The Bible does not tell us to hold ourselves in high regard in order to find fulfillment. Quite the contrary, actually. In Luke 9:23-24 Jesus says, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it."
     Living for Christ and keeping our eyes on the cross is the only way we will ever find fulfillment. We must be "cross-eyed", as my Sunday School teacher puts it. :) Hebrews 10:14 states, "For by a single offering he [Christ] has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified." Not only do Christians find fulfillment in Christ when they are saved, but they are continually, eternally, and completely reconciled and fulfilled in Christ and His saving work!! Praise the Lord for the plan of the cross!!!
     The Greek word "Pleroma" means to be completely and utterly fulfilled. In fact, it means to be even beyond fulfillment. Over-fulfillment. This is the word that is used in the Bible to describe what God does to the life of the Christian when He saved them by dying on the cross. Never can you find more abounding fullness than when you are engrossed in a relationship with someone who died for you.
     These past few weeks my Father has been teaching me to lean upon Him in every circumstance, trial, emotion, etc. etc. etc. EVERYTHING! He wants to know about EVERYTHING in my life! Isn't that amazing?!??! I don't need to try and find fulfillment in my friends, boys, school, music, family, even my "faith" -- because my identity is with Christ! If I'm living and breathing with the Holy Spirit present in me 24/7....I won't need to turn to anything else for satisfaction, fulfillment, self-esteem, etc. etc. etc. :)
     Now I want to go into all of the marvelous ways that God has orchestrated things in my life to continuously point me to finding my identity in Him. He does it with such detail, care and lovingkindness that I can't help but praise Him and smile with tears of utter joy.
     Recently I have been reading an excellent book called, "Lady in Waiting" - it's about the awesomeness of being single woman the way that God intends for you to be. I just read the chapter about diligence, and the author says, "Do you believe that the abundant life is only for the married woman? Do you think that a woman with a husband, two children, a nice home, and two insurance policies is more satisfied with life than you are? Life is satisfying only when you diligently serve the Lord, whatever your circumstances." Wow. Well, that expels the thought of trying to find fulfillment in relationships/marriage.
    Through God's providence I have also happened to be on the Chapel Worship Team this semester. I actually hadn't really thought about joining it until there was a need for another singer, and I was asked. I thought it would be an interesting experience since I've never sung with a praise band before, and so I said yes. Turns out that being a part of that group and singing on stage in Chapel every week has been one of the best things that has happened to me this semester so far. ("God moves in a mysterious way....") It has re-focused me on why I am doing what I am doing. My music at college has not necessarily always been self-centered, but neither has it been Christ-centered. I now am reminded every Tuesday morning that God is the one who has bestowed upon me my gift of singing, and that I should praise Him for it and consciously make every performance for His glory. Wow.
     Those are just a few things the Lord's been showing me. I'll probably get some new glasses in a few days. :) He is so patient with me. I want to close with quotes from two songs:

 "All of my ambitions, hopes and plans, I surrender these into Your hands. For it's only in Your

will that I am free; Jesus, all I am and have an ever hope to be."

Also:

"You are the One that we praise, You are the One we adore; You give the healing and

grace our hearts always hunger for. O, our hearts always hunger for."

MAY I ETERNALLY FIND FULFILLMENT IN YOU, O SAVIOUR!